


Forever

by hunters_retreat



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Al definitely yells at Ed, Al forgot to call the office, Al is definitely going to yell at Ed, Chapter Three is pure smut, Ed is an idiot, Ed is dying, Everyone else know how Roy felt, Everyone listens, First Time, HEA, Hanahaki Disease, Happily Ever After, Hawkeye might shoot someone, He Got Better, Love Confessions, M/M, Mustang is better than his reputation, Mustang is too good at hiding his feelings, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Oblivious Ed, Oblivious Roy, Poor Breda, Post-Promised Day, Roy is amused at Al's yelling until it hurts, Unrequited Love, Virginal Ed is not shy, Why is Mustang not surprised?, flower disease, sick ed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-03-31 11:24:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,797
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13974087
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hunters_retreat/pseuds/hunters_retreat
Summary: There was no need to ask what this was, not with a floor vividly covered in flowers.  There was no need to ask who; the flame lilies proclaimed the name of the man he loved better than Ed could.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Because I have recently found the phenomena of Hanahaki disease and there is just not enough of it. So I wrote some. And hey! New fandom!!! :P This is my first attempt at Fullmetal Alchemist, so I hope I got their voices right :P

Well, he’d had a good run, right?  A year and a half, he’d managed to keep going without anyone knowing he was sick.  A year and a half and not a single person in an office of the most detail oriented people he’d ever known had suspected a thing.

He’d left exact instructions in case he passed out or became delirious.  A letter to his brother Al, a demand that no one be called, and the forms filled out that would deny the surgery that could save him. 

Edward Elric refused to be damned by cutting out the one thing that had saved him, that had given his life purpose once he’d gotten his brother’s body back.

All he could think as he hit his knees was, why now?  One more day and he’d have been gone.  His preparations were moot now. 

He couldn’t move.  He could barely breathe through the coughs that shook his body.  He was on his hands and knees in the middle of the apartment living room where he had dropped when the fit began.  With each cough a flower fell from his lips and decorated the floor around him.  He couldn’t tell if they were bloody or not – the flowers were flame lilies and there was too much red to tell without further inspection – but the progression of the disease made him think there probably was. 

“Ed!”

Al had stopped to lock the door when they came in so he had missed the violent way Ed had fallen to his knees.  He didn’t ask what was wrong though, didn’t say anything as he dropped down beside Ed and grabbed his shoulders to help support him.

It was probably only two minutes before the fit passed but it felt like a lifetime.  His throat felt shredded and his ribs ached from the cough.  He wiped his hand across his mouth and let out a bitter laugh as a small lily clung to his hand.  Definitely blood.

He held it delicately in his palm as he sat up.  Al dragged him backwards a few feet until his back was against the couch for support.

“How long?”

There was no need to ask what this was, not with a floor vividly covered in flowers.  There was no need to ask who; the flame lilies proclaimed the name of the man he loved better than Ed could. 

“How long what, Al?”

“How long have you been hiding this from me?” Al asked.

His brother got up before Ed could answer and he closed his eyes and rested for a moment with his head tilted back against the couch.  Something cool touched his forehead and he looked up to see Al handing him a glass of water.

He took a sip and waited as Al sat down beside him.   He’d never intended to tell Al that he had Hanahaki Disease.  It was rare, but unmistakable.  He’d been able to control the cough, to keep it hidden until the very end.  It had progressed so far now that there was little he could do.  He had planned to take the train East in the morning on a mission for Mustang and he’d never intended to come back.  He knew his time was short.  He hadn’t wanted Al to have to live with this.

“Ed?”

“Give me a minute, okay Al?  Just let me clean up and we’ll talk.  I’ll tell you whatever you want to know.  Okay?”

His brother nodded and then helped Ed up off the floor.  He walked him back to the bathroom and Ed took a deep breath.  “I’m gonna hit the shower.  My ribs hurt,” he admitted.  It was true, but more than anything, Ed wanted some time to collect his thoughts.  “Need to let the hot water do its magic.”

Al watched him with wide eyes, unshed tears making them look bigger than they were, deeper.  “Alright, Brother.  Take your time.  Do you need help?”

“I’ll be fine, Al,” he said quietly.  His throat hurt like hell.  “Maybe some tea.  There’s a packet, hidden behind Fritz’s Biological Alchemy in the study.  It helps after a bad fit.”

Al left him then and Ed took in a deep breath, grateful that the cough had been strong enough to momentarily clear his airways.  It wasn’t always.  Some days he struggled for breath all day long.  Other, like today, the flowers seemed to be plucked from their branches and left only the scratchy tendrils behind to diminish the air flow.  The flowers would grow back quick enough though.  The cough would return and Ed would be spitting flame lilies again. 

He ran the water as hot as he could stand.  His ribs ached from the past few days and while this had been his worst bout, it wasn’t the only bad fit he’d had recently.   He stood under the warm water until it ran cold. 

He walked to his room to get fresh clothes and heard his brother tinkering in the kitchen.   Ed took his time dressing; instead of his usual clothes though he chose some loose sleeping pants and a tee shirt.  Al wouldn’t mind him seeking comfort where he could get it.  He didn’t bother to do anything more than dry his hair.  It was too much of an effort to try to pull his hair back and he wasn’t above using it as a shield against his brother.  He needed to find a way to keep his brother from realizing exactly how close he was to death.  If Al realized how far gone he was then there was no way he’d allow him to get on the train in the morning.  In fact, Ed had already started to work on a plan to sneak out because he wasn’t stupid enough to think his brother wouldn’t call Mustang about this. 

Not that it would matter.  Contrary to popular belief, confessing your love to the person you were coughing flowers over wouldn’t stop the disease.  It wouldn’t even slow it down.  He’d read some reports that indicated it might even speed it up.  Ed had loved Mustang from afar for years.  He had no need of confessions that could only be politely accepted but never returned.  He had no need to see the pity in Roy’s eyes and feel his heart break even further.

The thought doubled him over again, the flowers racing up his throat as he fell to his knees again.  Damn it!  He’d gotten so damn good at not thinking about it.  The image wouldn’t leave him though, of what would happen when Ed was gone.  Roy would be hurt and Ed would be the cause.  Roy couldn’t love him, but he cared for all his men and Ed would never deny that.  For every bantered conversation, there was a quick phone call across the country to make sure that Ed had survived his latest mission without harm. 

He dropped his head to the floor and wrapped his arms around his ribs where it hurt the most.  Arms wrapped around him from behind and he let Al hold him tight as his body was wracked with cough.  It wasn’t one at a time as it always had been before.  Mouthfuls of flowers came up and he barely spat them out before more pressed against his lips.  He couldn’t get enough air and his vision was going black.

“Don’t you fucking die on me, Fullmetal!”  Ed was started by the voice in his ear, by the realization that it wasn’t Al holding him.  “That’s an order, do you understand me!  Don’t you die!”

Roy’s voice was harsh and thick, heavy with emotion and the surprise seemed to have stopped the attack.  He gulped air down his lungs and the room spun as he tried to sit up.  Mustang pulled him upright and Ed would fight the way he found himself pulled against his chest, but he didn’t have the energy.

He closed his eyes and relaxed where he was until he felt the spasms finally stop.

“Brother, your tea,” Al said gently. 

Ed opened his eyes to see Al watching him.  He held out the tea cup and Ed took it with shaking hands.  He took a sip to see if it would stay down this time and he was relieved when it did. 

“He said it sooths the cough,” Al spoke softly.

Ed felt Mustang’s hand in his hair, running down over his back and up again in a soothing gesture.  He should get up, shouldn’t let himself get comfortable but he was too damn tired.  He’d never had two fits so close together.

“Why didn’t you tell me it was this bad?”

“I didn’t know,” Al confessed.  “I called you after I saw his attack today but … General … I’ve never seen any symptoms and this is the late stages.”  Al looked at him then and Ed wanted to look away, but he was curled up on himself, in the vee of Mustang’s body, pressed against his chest.  Mustang’s legs were bent at the knee, bracketing Ed and one hand held him close around the waist while the other continued to stroke his hair.  He didn’t deserve this, but he needed it.  He’d never intended to tell either of them, but the choice was gone now and he would take what comfort he could.             

“How long, Ed?” Al asked him again. 

“A year and a half,” Ed said quietly.  He sipped the tea and ignored the gasps from his brother and Mustang.  The tea was warm and honeyed and it felt good against his ravaged throat so he closed his eyes and continued to drink as he waited for the next question.

The next words were full of tears and Ed clung to his cup as he listened to Al.

“When were you going to tell me?”

“I was going to East City tomorrow on a mission.  I won’t ,” he took a deep breath because he’d never actually said it out loud.  “I won’t make it another week.  I was never coming back.  There was a letter for you.”

“You idiot,” he heard the hoarse whisper against his temple and Ed curled closer into Mustang.   The flowers were strewn all around him so Mustang knew the truth and he wasn’t disgusted.  Lying in his arms, if just for a few minutes, was the most content he’d been in a long while. 

“Don’t go getting emotional on me, Bastard,” Ed said softly.  “If you do, then I will, and then I’ll just start coughing again.”

The arms around him pulled him tighter and Ed felt the warm drop of tears against his temple and it was too much.  He shoved the teacup into Al’s hands as the cough came again.  He tried to pull away from Mustang but he was too weak and Mustang pulled him closer into his chest.  This was why he didn’t want Mustang to know.  This is why he never confessed.  He had no hopes that Mustang loved him.  Ed was 14 years younger than him, his subordinate, and male.  Mustang had a career that would end with the highest office in the land and Ed had a career as a military dog that enjoyed blowing things up a little too much so he could replace them with added – horrific- features to get a rise out of his commanding officer. 

Roy didn’t deserve this guilt on top of everything else.  It would kill him to know what his feelings were doing to Ed. 

He was gasping for air but none was coming.  His face was tilted up and he looked up at Mustang who looked wildly back at him.  “Don’t you die, Fullmetal!  You don’t get to tell me you love me so much you’re dying from it and not let me tell you how I feel about it.”

Ed tried to push away from his chest again but instead of being pulled to his chest, Mustang wrapped his fingers in Ed’s hair and pulled their lips together in a fierce kiss. 

“I love you, Ed.  Don’t you dare die on me!”

“You can’t just say that!” Ed yelled.  “It doesn’t work that way.”

Mustang pressed his forehead to Ed’s but his hand didn’t leave his hair where he kept Ed where he was.  “You think I don’t mean it?” Mustang demanded before he kissed Ed again.

He thought it was probably lack of oxygen to his brain that was causing the cough to stop, but then he realized it was the kiss that was taking his breath away and not the flowers.

He pulled back in surprise.  He could feel it still, feel the flowers in his chest but the pressure had already eased up a little.  Enough to breathe easier.  Enough to look at Mustang and see the truth in his eyes.

“You…”

“You idiot!  You were just going to run off and die and all you had to do was tell me!”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He had his hands in Mustang’s shirt now, clenched around the fabric to keep him close.  Not that Mustang seemed like he was going anywhere.

“Ed,” he whispered, his hand leaving Ed’s hair to cup his face and look him in the eyes.  “I’m your commanding officer.  I could never be the one to say something.  If I had known you were sick … I would have anyway. You never told me.  You …” he let out a shuddered breath.  “I almost lost you.”

Ed buried his head in Mustang’s neck and then he felt another body pressed against his back.  “We almost lost you,” Mustang whispered.

He felt tears on his face, on his temple, and the back of his neck and it was the safest he’d ever felt.  He let out a soft breath and his body relaxed. 

“Ed?” Mustang called his name delicately.

“I’m okay.  I’m just … tired.”

“Brother?” There was a note of panic in his voice and Ed sighed.

“Al, I’m okay.  I mean it.  I feel … it’s still there but it’s not like it was.”

“But… it’s supposed to be gone.” Al demanded.

“It’s not magic, Al,” Ed said softly.  His throat hurt like hell.  He probably needed more tea, after three attacks in one day.  “The pressure is going down but it will take a while to heal properly.”

“We should get you to the doctor,” Mustang said adamantly.

“Tomorrow.  Please?” Ed asked.  “I’m too tired.  I just want…”

He didn’t say anything then and he pulled closer to Mustang again. 

“What?  Ed, tell me, please.”

“I just want to stay here.”

“On the ground, in the middle of a pile of bloody flowers?” Mustang teased.

The fact that there was a playful lilt in his voice meant he understood and Ed would be mortified at his clinginess if he didn’t need it so damn bad.

“With you,” he said softly. 

“Would you like more tea, Brother?” Al asked as he finally pulled back.

“That would be great, Al,” he said. 

“I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Al, would you call Hawkeye and let her know I won’t be back today?  Tell her I’ll fill her in tomorrow,” Mustang asked.

Al left and Ed was alone with Mustang.  “Do you feel like you’re strong enough to stand up?”

“Yeah.  Not sure I could get very far though,” he answered honestly.  As much as he hated being weak, there was no hiding how bad it had been. 

“Just to the bed,” Mustang said.  Ed nodded and he pulled back slightly.  He kept his eyes down and just concentrated on keeping upright.  When Mustang got to his feet, he held his hand down for Ed.  Ed took it and was pulled right back into Mustang’s chest as he led him to the bed.  He watched as the blankets were pushed down and he crawled between the covers and let his head rest on the pillow.  Mustang didn’t follow him immediately and Ed looked up to see Mustang walk to the other side of the bed.  His jacket was already unbuttoned and thrown over the foot on his bed.  Ed watched as Mustang undid his button up shirt and stripped it off.  He dropped the shirt next to his jacket, then sat on the edge of Ed’s bed.  He undid his boots and pushed his socks off before he slid out of his pants. 

When he turned to look at Ed, he was dressed in his boxers and he smiled at Ed but his eyes were rimmed in red.  Ed wanted to reach out to him but he didn’t have the strength.  Mustang pulled the blankets back and slid in beside Ed and pulled him close until Ed’s head was resting on his chest.  One hand stroked his hair again while the other settled on his back. 

Ed looked up at Mustang and he thought he was allowed this one thing now.  He reached up and gently ran his fingers over Mustang’s face before he cupped his cheek.  The General’s eyes closed as he nuzzled into Ed’s hand.  

When Mustang looked at him, he let out a deep breath.  “I love you,” Ed finally admitted.

The laugh Mustang gave was broken, but his smile was warm and strong and sincere.  “I love you too, Ed.  I have for a long time,” he said as he pulled Ed close enough to kiss.

When Mustang pulled back, it was just far enough to let his head rest against Ed’s. 

“Wish I had energy for more than that,” Ed said softly.

“We’ll get you better first, then you have plenty of time for whatever you have in mind.”

“Yeah?”

“I almost lost you today, Ed.  I’m not taking that chance again.”

A knock at the door surprised him but then Al was back with the tea.  Mustang moved up the bed and pulled Ed back up to prop him against his chest where he could drink easier.

“I can sit up on my own,” Ed said.

“Shut up, Ed,” Al said as he handed him the tea cup.  “He can feel your breathing that way.”

“Am I that obvious?” Mustang asked, and Ed realized that Mustang’s hand was on his chest, just resting there.  When he thought about it, he realized the whole time Mustang had been checking his breathing.  So had Al when he’d pressed against Ed’s back.

Al smiled.  “If you weren’t, I would.”

He felt the General go unnaturally still behind him. 

“Al, if you … I can leave if you-”

“Oh no, I didn’t mean that,” Al said quickly.  “In fact, I’ve heard that the cure works best if the two people, once they confess their feelings, are in close contact.  It’s better for Brother if you stay close.  I just … I meant I needed to know he’d breathing clearly.  I know you’re keeping an eye on it.”

Ed sipped his tea and for the first time in six months he couldn’t even feel the roots that had started to grow up his throat.  He let out a startled laugh and closed his eyes at the tears that threatened to spill out.

“Ed?”  “Brother?”

“I’m okay,” he said softly.  He looked at Al and gave his brother a smile.  “I can feel it going away.  Not just the way it would get a little better after a bad fit cleared the flowers out.  I can feel the growth shrinking.”

“We’re still taking you to the doctor tomorrow,” Mustang said.

Ed wanted to protest but there was banging down the hallway and Al’s eyes widened. “I forgot to call the office!” he said as he ran out of the room.

“Who do you think came?”

“Who?”  Mustang tilted Ed’s head up and back before he pressed a kiss to Ed’s forehead.  “Al called me in a panic, Ed.  I ran out of the office with a shout that I needed to get to you.  I don’t have any idea what they think is happening, but it won’t be who.  It will be how many.  And my guess is that it will be all of them.”

He groaned and Mustang took the empty cup from him and set it on the bedside table.  He pulled them back down the bed and wrapped him back in his arms. 

“How bad is it gonna be?”

“They’ll be hurt you didn’t tell them.  Angry that you almost threw your life away for no reason.  But comparatively, it won’t be bad.”

“Comparatively?”

“What do you think Al is going to do when the doctor gives him the all clear?”

Ed cringed but didn’t have time for anything else before the doorway was filled with the people from the office.  Havoc was the first in the door but he stopped when he saw the flowers littered all over the floor.  Breda and Fuery were right behind him.  Hawkeye came a moment later with Al beside her.  No one moved and no one spoke. 

“What the hell, Boss!” Havoc finally demanded. 

“This is…  how long did it take for this to happen?” Breda asked, pointing to the flame lilies on the floor. 

“He had an attack when I got here.  Another a few minutes after he’d calmed down from the first one.”

“This all happened today?” Breda asked for confirmation. 

Ed knew it was bad.  Breda was too smart not to understand exactly how bad it was.  Breda’s older brother had died of Hanahaki Disease when he was a young man and he’d nursed him through it to the end.

“Second Lieutenant?” Hawkeye asked.

Breda’s eyes narrowed and Ed found himself at the end of Breda’s anger for the first time in his memory.  They all knew Ed had been planning to leave for East in the morning.  And in that moment Bread knew that Ed’s earlier good-bye tonight had been a final one.

And Hawkeye was asking just how bad the flowers really were.

“He said his good-bye today,” Breda said shortly.  “This was the end.”

He felt Mustang’s arms tighten around him and Havoc started to open his mouth but Mustang cut them all off.

“Not tonight,” he said with authority.  “Ed almost died and he’s still recovering.  I’ll be taking him to the base doctor in the morning.  You’re more than welcome to wait outside to get the doctor’s clean bill of health and then wait in line, behind me, until Alphonse gets done with his say.”

Ed could see Al’s furious nod and he buried his head in Mustang’s chest and groaned. 

“We’ll see you in the morning then,” Hawkeye said calmly.

“She’s going to shoot me,” Ed said miserably.

“At least you’ll be close to medical supplies,” Al said without remorse.

There was a spattering of laughter and Havoc clapped a hand on Al’s shoulder.  “I’m gonna bet you didn’t get anything to eat once this all started,” Havoc said as he pointed towards the flowers.  “What do you say we all go out and grab some chow.  You can practice your ‘Ed, you idiot’ speech on us.”

Al seemed torn but when he looked at Mustang, Ed felt the General nod his head.  “Yeah,” Al said after a moment.  “Good idea.  I’ll bring something back for you guys.”

“Thank you,Al,” Mustang said softly. 

It was more than food and Ed wasn’t sure what.  Maybe letting them have some time alone?  Ed was too tired to think clearly.

Al came closer then and pressed a kiss to his brother’s forehead.  “Get some sleep, Brother.  I’ll find something that won’t bother your throat too much.”

“You’re the best, Al.”

Al rolled his eyes but he left the room and closed the door behind him.  He heard voices for a few minutes longer and then the front door closed.

“Alone?”

“I’m guessing Hawkeye left a soldier on the street in case of emergencies, but I think they’re all taking care of Al right now.”

“I owe them.”

“You do,” Mustang said as he moved down and turned onto his side.  Ed did the same so he could look Mustang in the eye.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked.  There was no accusation, and no anger.  It would come later, but not tonight.

Ed knew that as tired as he was, Mustang was also.  The others might have understood what was happened, but they hadn’t seen it.  He was just glad Al was getting out before the images could cement into his brain and leave him with nightmares tonight.

“You’re not supposed to love me,” Ed answered.  Mustang didn’t say anything and Ed kept going.  “You’re supposed to find someone that can help you become Fuhrer and I can’t help you with that.  All I’ll do is get in the way.”

“So you were going to die because you were worried about what public opinion would do to my reputation?”

“What?  No.  I just … that’s where your focus is.  I didn’t think you’d even entertain the idea of … me.  Us.”

Mustang closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to Ed’s.  “Mustang,” he said softly.

“Roy.  You were about to die, for love of me.  I think you can use my first name.”

“Bastard,” Ed said instead.  He smiled as he said it though and so did Mustang.  He caressed the other man’s cheek.  “Might take a while.  It was… easier to try to keep it in check if I thought of you as Mustang.  To think about you as the General and not… you know … as you.  When I think about you, it got worse.  In the beginning I slipped up a lot and nearly gave myself away.  I found ways to think around it so I wouldn’t have a coughing fit at work.”

“You’re too smart for your own good, Ed.”

“It’s been said.”

Mustang… Roy … pulled him close again and Ed felt himself resting on his chest.  Roy could feel his heartbeat against his own chest and with the hand against his back.  If there was even a twitch, Roy would know.  Ed buried his head in Roy’s neck and let out a tired sigh.

“Will you stay tonight?”

Roy kissed him tenderly but the chaste kiss deepened as Ed parted his lips.  Their tongues tangled gently, slowly, teasingly.  Roy’s hands gripped him harder and Ed knew he’d be bruised come morning.  If Roy needed to hold him so tightly to know he was still there, he was happy to wear them.     

When they parted, Roy only moved far enough way that his nose nudged up against Ed’s.  “Tonight?” he asked.  “Ed, my love, I’m going to stay forever.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

   


	2. Love of My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “General, would you mind giving us a few minutes?”
> 
> Roy looked up, and though Alphonse was staring at his brother, Roy had no doubt the hardened gaze would fall on him if he didn’t leave the room. Roy was smart enough to know when to push the Elric brothers and when to leave them to their own devices.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, after some requests and a story that wouldn't leave me alone, I did indeed sit down to write a sequel to Forever. This would be the morning after, from Roy's POV. :P Enjoy!

Roy Mustang sat at the side of the bed as he waited for the doctor to give the all clear to his subordinate.  His…  hell, it was hard to think of what to call Ed now.  Lover wasn’t the right word just yet, but it would be as soon as he could take care of that little detail. 

His pain in the ass?  Because Ed had been that for years.  The thorn in his side.  The noose around his neck.  The bane of his existence.   The reason for his existence.  The perfect circle in every transmutation.  The beauty he saw in every sunrise.  His heart, walking around leaving him shredded and bleeding every god damned day.

He wanted to drop his head into his hands and just take a moment to pull himself together but he didn’t have that time.  Not yet.  Ed had almost died last night for the most stupid of reasons and Roy couldn’t walk away to catch his own breath.

Not even last night, in Ed’s bed with the man he loved wrapped in his arms, had he been able to relax.  Alphonse had come in every hour on the hour to check on him, and Roy had stayed awake all through the night to feel the beat of Ed’s heart and the rise of his chest as his breath became smoother and more at ease.

Hanahaki killed 83% of all the people it infected.  He didn’t need to know that fact, but he couldn’t forget the way Breda had said it out at the bar one night.  They had been taking a well needed night out and somehow they had come upon the topic.  No one then had known that Breda’s brother had died of it.  Now, the words he’d spoken were stuck in his head.  As was the image of Ed, on his knees surrounded by a circle of red and orange flame lilies, his arms wrapped around his waist and his head down as if in supplication, as he continued to choke the flowers out between pained gasps for breath. 

Flame lilies were poisonous, so not only was the flower and its roots choking Ed as it grew in his lungs and chest cavity, but it was poisoning him as well. 

And if it weren’t enough that Ed had been dying, it had been Hanahaki; a disease that killed those who suffered from unrequited love.  Roy had been in love with Ed for far longer than he usually liked to admit.  If he had said something, if he had shown any indication that he’d harbored feelings for Roy, this would have gone so much differently. 

He could have slowly courted the man he had come to love.  He would have allowed Ed to see how much he admired his determination and his loyalty.  Ed would have seen how much Roy had come to respect him, as an alchemist, as a soldier, and as a man.  He would have been allowed to slowly see the unadulterated affection and love that Roy felt for him.  It wouldn’t have been harsh words and near-death bed confessions with kisses that were far too desperate. 

He pressed the heel of his hands to his eyes to try to keep from letting any of that desperation bleed through to his eyes today.  Ed was going to be fine.  He was going to live and even if it wasn’t the start he had wanted them to have, Roy would still have the chance to show Ed the softer side of him, the private life that he kept so removed from the working persona he had cultivated.

Roy looked up as the doctor finished his notes and set the clipboard back down.  Alphonse sat in a chair on the other side of the bed from him as they waited for Edward’s final clearance.

“Doctor?” Al’s voice sounded better this morning, though Roy could easily see the dark bags under his eyes and the nervous way his hands kept slipping up, as if to touch his brother.  “I know that Hanahaki is supposed to be cleared up if the person my brother loves confesses in return, but it didn’t happen immediately.  Is that normal?”

The doctor nodded reassuringly.  “There are a lot of old wives tales about Hanahaki and most of them are untrue.  It is, quite honestly, a very difficult illness for doctors to treat.   We don’t know what causes some people who have unrequited love to be free of it and why some fall sick.  We don’t know how the illness can be certain when the ‘cure’ is present.  We do keep detailed notes about what we do know though.  We do know that once the love confession is recognized the plants begin to shrink.  The type of plant and the depth of the root growth can cause a more prolonged effect, though the growth is usually dissolved within moments.  Your brother’s case seems to have been in the very late stages so it took some time.”

“The lilies in his lungs were poisonous,” Roy pointed out.  “Would that have a lasting effect?”

The doctor shook his head.  “Most doctors would say that the body’s natural defenses protect it from such things but I’ll be honest and tell you that we don’t know why, but once the plant is removed its effects are as well.  That doesn’t mean it wasn’t affecting Ed when he was ill, though.”

“But there’s no lasting affects now, correct Doctor?” Alphonse asked from the other side of the bed. 

“He is in perfect health.  Or, as perfect as he’s ever going to be,” the doctor quickly amended.  “I would think a visit to your automail mechanic would settle the other issues we discussed,” the doctor said to Ed.

“Oh, so now you remember that I’m in the room.”

“Brother.”

“Can I go home now?”

“We are waiting on the blood test results before you are released.  We have never seen any issues with Hanahaki interfering with automail, but the combination of the roots, the automail, and the poisonous nature of the plants makes me feel a little caution is warranted.”

“Ah, come on.  I’m sure it’s all fine.  I’m feeling 100% better, really!”

“And we’re supposed to believe you?”

“What’s that supposed to mean, Al?”

“A year and a half!”

“Gentleman, I think it’s time for me to exit this conversation.  I will stop by as soon as we have the test results back.  However, as I said before, every indication is that Ed is perfectly healthy now.  The Hanahaki has gone into complete remission.  However, it is still advised that you remain together,” he said as he looked at Roy, “for a few more days to make certain there aren’t any complications.”

“Is that common?” Roy asked.

“When Hanahaki develops to this late stage before the confession is made, there are some patients who have a hard time processing their emotions.  Denial can sometimes cause setbacks, but I haven’t seen any sign of it here.  Staying together for a few days is a precaution.”

The doctor walked out and Roy wasn’t sure what to say next.  He was just as irritated with Ed as his brother was.  He was torn between wanting to strangle him and wanting to wrap him in his arms and just hold him again. 

“General, would you mind giving us a few minutes?”

Roy looked up, and though Alphonse was staring at his brother, Roy had no doubt the hardened gaze would fall on him if he didn’t leave the room.  Roy was smart enough to know when to push the Elric brothers and when to leave them to their own devices.

“Um, hey Doc,” Ed tried to call out to where the door had just shut behind the doctor, “shouldn’t I take it easy for a few days?  You know… lots of rest and recuperation?”

It was no use and Roy stood quietly.  “I’ll be outside if you need anything, Alphonse.”

“Hey, wait!”  Ed said.  “You said you loved me!  Shouldn’t you be protecting me or something?”

Roy grit his teeth as he faced Ed.  “Yes, I love you, and I was hours away from mourning you for the rest of my life.  Anyone,” Roy hissed as he grabbed the bed rail and leaned closer to Ed, “Anyone that knew me knew how I felt about you.  I wasn’t very good at hiding it.  Your brother knew.  My whole damn team knew.  And you almost killed yourself because you couldn’t admit what you felt to anyone.  Or that you were sick.  You and Al have kept each other alive through more danger than most people could even think to live through.  I doubt he’s going to kill you now.”

Ed looked like he was about to plead again and Roy cut him off with a hard kiss.  “I love you.  Good luck.  There are five others lined up outside when your brother is done.”

Roy stood up and nodded to Alphonse, who gave him a nod.  “Don’t take it easy on him.”

“Hey!”

“He almost killed the love of my life,” Roy said, partially to soften the blow for Ed, but also to see the way his eyes widened at Roy’s admission.

“And my brother,” Alphonse said with a small smile.

If nothing else came of all this, at least he and Alphonse were of the same mind.  They were both prepared to spend the rest of their days protecting Edward Elric from his own ingenious stupidity. 

He closed the door behind himself as he gave Alphonse the time to deal with his brother.  Roy looked at the others, gathered in the hallway for the verdict.  “Ed will be fine.  Unless Alphonse kills him.”

“You think Alphonse is really going to let him have it?” Havoc asked.  Roy looked at his team and he could see they were all concerned.  Yes, the Elric brothers had managed to work their way into the heart of his team and they were there to see that Ed knew exactly how stupid his plan had been.

“What the hell were you thinking!” the angry yell was heard perfectly clear through the closed door into the hallway.  Roy didn’t have to try to stay close to the door to eavesdrop. 

“Why yes,” he said with a smile.  “I think he really is.”

He didn’t hear what Ed might have replied because Alphonse began again. 

“No!  You don’t get to talk.  You don’t get to explain.  Why did I have to get stuck with such an idiot brother!  A letter?  After everything we’ve been through, everything you’ve done for me you were going to leave me behind with just a letter!  You know surgery could have saved your life but you left a note even refusing that!”

Roy startled at that and he looked at Riza who sat in a hospital chair across from him with eyes blown wide.  Not everyone with Hanahaki was a candidate for surgery.  He had assumed Ed had been one of those unlucky few who weren’t qualified for it, not that he had chosen to keep his condition.

“If you didn’t have any hope that he could love you back, why would you die to keep loving him?  Why not just have the surgery to remove the roots? I don’t understand.”

There was a pause but then Alphonse began again.

“Right!  Because my brother is an idiot!” he yelled.  “You’ve been hiding this from all of us for a year and a half.  A year and a half, Ed, and as bad as it was when I walked in yesterday, you must have been in a lot of pain.  And that doesn’t even count the poison!  Why would you keep that from me?”

“Poison?” Breda asked.

Mustang took a deep breath and looked around at his team.  Hawkeye had her hands held in her lap, white knuckled as she tried to keep her fear for Ed in control.  Next to her sat Fuery who just stared at his own hands.  Havoc was leaning against the wall beside Roy, and Breda stood opposite, looking like a man who’d spent the night with too many harsh memories.

“The flowers Ed was choking on, flame lilies are poisonous.  Once the flower was produced, he was being poisoned as well as choked by them.”  His voice was calm and collected in ways he wished he truly felt. 

“Ed really hid this from us for that long?” Riza asked. 

This was the part that hurt so much, the part he hadn’t had time to deal with.  Ed had to have known, hadn’t he?  That even if Roy hadn’t loved him back then – which he damn well did, more the idiots the both of them – that he would have tried?  He’d have courted him.  He’d have wined and dined him and taken the admiration and respect he felt for the man and tried to give them a shot.  Ed hadn’t given him that chance though.  He’d have rather died. 

“From all of us.”

It fell silent again until Alphonse’s voice came through the door again. 

“I don’t give a flying rat’s ass what – don’t you dare tell me who I’ve been spending too much time with!” Alphonse’s words were even louder this time.  Whatever had been said had done the opposite of placating the younger Elric.  “You were going to leave me alone to spend the rest of my life without you!  My brother!  My best friend!  So you don’t get to talk to me about my language!  You were leaving me!  You were… you were leaving us!  All of us!”

Roy could hear the pause but he’d been through enough Elric fights to know that Alphonse was getting good and geared up. 

“If I read your letter would it even explain?  Or were you trying to protect the General even when you were dying because of him?  Were you going to tell me you were dying because you loved the General, or were you just writing a good bye letter that would leave it vague so no one would know and I’d have to research and track down the truth on my own?  Only it wouldn’t be on my own would it?  There are six people out in that hallway, waiting for a chance to see you because they care about you!   You know Mustang wouldn’t have accepted some lame letter!  The whole team would be all over it because they’re family Ed!  Family.  Like, Fuery, who spent hours at our place a few weeks ago rereading that damn file over and over for you because something wasn’t right and he was worried you were obsessing over it!”

Fuery had a small smile on his face and Roy could see that whatever incident Al was talking about was fondly remembered.

“Or Breda who comes over and makes sure you get at least one healthy meal a week when I’m too swamped at school to notice anything but my books!”

Breda smiled as well, though there was something self-deprecating about it, as if he didn’t think Alphonse had noticed.    He had been a younger brother, left to care for the older when he was unable to.  Of course he would have noticed when Alphonse was too busy and Ed was left to his own devices.

“Falman, who we met on a gun fight on a train, remember that?  The guy who is all rules and regulations but who never bats an eye at the amount of rules you break on a daily basis, just by being you?”

Falman shook his head like he could deny that, but then let out a little half laugh.  “He could at least wear the uniform,” he said with small grin.  It made them all smile a little.

“Havoc has literally taken a bullet for you and Hawkeye has actually killed people to protect you!  You think they were going to take a stupid letter, Ed?  But you’re a damned idiot and can’t see how much people care about you!”

Havoc fumbled a cigarette out of his pocket and put it to his mouth but as soon as it was there, he ran his hand over the flesh of his upper arm.  The bullet had only been a graze but it could have ended Fullmetal if Havoc hadn’t pushed him out of the way.

Hawkeye didn’t respond at all to the words Alphonse had spoken.  It was true.  She had killed for the Elrics, to protect them.  She had killed to protect all of them at some point or other in their relationship.  She was calm and collected and never hesitated to do what had to be done.  Now, she was eerily motionless as she listened to the fight on the other side of the door.

“What about Granny?  And Winry.  Gracia and Elysia.  Don’t you think they’d have been hurt when you just up and died?”

“What the hell was I supposed to do, Al?” Edward finally shouted back.  It spoke to how much guilt he felt that he’d been quiet for so long.   “Tell you, so you could watch me die slowly instead?  There was nothing anyone could do.  I couldn’t stop what I was feeling.  I’ve been in love with the Bastard since the god damned Promised Day!”

“Ed!”

“I was just some stupid kid whose whole life was wrapped up in getting his brother back and there he fucking was, angry and devastated and he refused to do the transmutation to give Father the sacrifice he needed.  And then they did it to him anyway and he rose out of the fucking ground with Hawkeye at his side, blind and stumbling and fucking glorious because even when someone shoved blades through his hands, forced him to the portal, and he lost his god damned eye sight, he still came up swinging!  How the fuck am I supposed to not love that?”

“You’re such an idiot!  You just had to tell him!”

“I’m just a fucking brat under his command!  He’s going to be Fuhrer and I can’t fuck that up!”

“Idiot!  He can make up his own mind about that!  He’s a fucking general!  He’s smart enough to know what’s best for him!”

Roy couldn’t help but smile.  When he looked up the others were looking at him, curious.

“That man-”

He was interested to hear what Fullmetal had to say, but Alphonse cut him off again.

“thinks you hang the moon!” Alphonse finished his brother’s sentence.  “He did everything he could to help you get my body back, no matter how disrespectful and argumentative you were.  He gave us leads and put us in touch with the right people to further our goals.  And it didn’t stop on the Promised Day either!  If anyone on his team didn’t already know he was in love with you then it’s because they’re purposely looking the other way.  He lights up when you enter his office.  He hides it well when we’re outside of the office but we all know how he feels about you.  Do you have any idea how devastated he was when I told him you had Hanahaki? When he walked into the front room and saw the flame lilies all over the goddamned floor?”

Al’s voice was still loud enough to hear but there was so much pain in it that Roy wished he couldn’t.  “When I had to watch the moment he realized that he was killing you?”

Roy closed his eyes at the memory.  Al had let him in, quiet and utterly devastated by what was happening with his brother.  He told Roy about Ed’s disease and they’d both heard Ed moving around upstairs.  Then Al had said he needed to finish his brother’s tea and led him down the hallway where it opened into the front room on one side and the kitchen on the other.

Roy had gasped because he knew, even without the name of the flowers what it had meant.  Al had led him there purposefully so he could see the extent of it himself.  He’d looked up at Al to see the tears the younger man had been holding back had finally fallen.

He’d been about to reach out for Al, when they both heard a loud thump from upstairs.

“Brother!” Al shouted, but Roy had already been down the hallway and headed for Ed.

“Sir,” the quiet sympathy in Hawkeye’s voice brought him away from the moment.  Whatever else was being said in the room, Roy figured they were past the yelling stage.

She gripped his hand in her own and he took a deep breath.  “He’s fine,” he said to reassure them, and to say it one more time for himself.  “He was already being a pain in the ass when I left the room.”

She nodded and gave him a tight smile.  “I’ll head back to the office then and make sure some work gets done today.  Let me know when the doctors think you can leave him long enough to return to work.”

“You don’t want your turn to yell at him?” Roy teased.

She smiled at him then.  “I don’t think anything will get through to him if what Al said doesn’t.  Besides, a well-placed hand will be more reinforcing once he’s back to work.”

He laughed softly and then she walked away.  Falman and Fuery went with her and Roy knew that while they would like to have stayed, they were making sure that their office didn’t suffer.  The military didn’t suffer that sort of thing.

Havoc, Roy knew, had been left behind to make sure Roy was okay and Breda would need to see Ed again before he’d be able to pull himself together.

The door opened beside him a moment later and Al stepped out, eyes red-rimmed and face flushed from anger and tears.  “If you want to go see him, he’s ready.”

Roy motioned the other two in and he sat down beside Al, who’d taken Hawkeye’s former seat.

“Are you okay, Al?”

“You know, I don’t think I am.  I love my brother, General, but I don’t understand how someone so smart can be so stupid.” Al demanded.  “Brother and I faced a lot of dangerous things over the years, but to die of something like this?  And when he was so completely oblivious to what you felt?”

Roy took a deep breath and tried to hide what he was feeling now.  He knew his own heart and he had his reasons for not telling Ed how he’d felt.  Yes, he’d told himself time and time again that as his subordinate, Roy could never be the first to show his feelings.  He’d admitted often enough that if Ed did show something, he’d find a way to make it work.  He owed Hughes that much.  The man had spent a good part of his life trying to find someone that would make Roy happy.  He could have shown something though, couldn’t he? 

“I’m sorry.”

Roy looked over at Al and the younger man looked on the verge of tears again. 

“I don’t mean to imply that you did anything wrong,” Al continued.  “I knew my brother had strong feelings for you.  I didn’t realize they were romantic, but, well, he’s never had a romantic relationship so how was I to know?  If I had seen anything, you have to believe, I would have made him talk to you.  Or I would have told him the truth myself until he saw it.”

“I know Al,” Roy said in his most soothing voice.  Ed would kill him if they walked in and Al was crying again.  “I keep thinking back, wondering what I could have done, but he hid so well that none of us knew.  None of us could have guessed that this was happening to him.”

“What are we gonna do now?” Al asked with a sigh.

“You should go get some sleep,” Roy said, putting up a hand before Al could tell him all the reasons he needed to stay by his brother’s side.

“I can’t leave.  You know what the doctor said.  Seven days before I can leave him for more than an hour or two at a time.  Which means not only is he going to go stir crazy when he can’t go in to work, it means you’re going to have to deal with the both of us, underfoot, trying to get used to this.  So one of us has to be thinking clear headed.”

“You didn’t sleep at all last night, did you?” Al said, his eyes finally taking in Roy’s immaculate clothes, but darkened eyes and pale skin.

“Not a wink.  Every time he breathes, I keep feeling for it, that twitch that means the cough is coming back.”

“He loves you, and now that you confessed his feelings, it won’t come back.”

“I know.  I just,” he looked down at his feet and sighed.  “I’ve loved him from afar for so long, hiding it, hoping that he might somehow forget what a bastard I am.  Who I am.  I keep thinking this is wrong.  That there’s someone else he loves.”

There was a sound as someone moved past them and then Al spoke.  “Who are you?” Al asked quietly.   

Roy gave a bitter laugh.  “The Hero of Ishval.  Nothing I do outweighs that, Al.  You and your brother, you did the right thing, no matter the cost.  I admire you for it, but I wasn’t always able to do that and I can’t forget it.  I know neither of you can either.”

“You’re a good man, General.”

“I’m a broken man, and I’m sorry that somehow the two of you seem to be stuck with me.”

“Yeah, well, maybe our broken parts will fit together.”

Roy looked up because it was Ed’s voice.  “What are you doing out of bed?”

“I sent Breda and Havoc on the way and came out to see what was keeping you two.  You coming back in, or what?”

Roy had expected to see something hard in Ed’s eyes, but that wasn’t what he saw at all.  Instead, there was understanding.  Roy didn’t know what the hell he thought he understood, but Roy would take whatever stay of execution he could get.

“I think I’m going to go home and get some sleep, Brother,” Al said as he looked at Roy.  “Maybe clean up a little bit before you get sent home.”

“Are you okay, Al?” Ed asked.

“I’m fine,” he said with a smile for his brother.  “As the General pointed out, neither of us slept well last night so someone should get some real sleep before we’re all stuck in close quarters.”

“Al, have Havoc drive you home.”

“I can just-”

“I would be able to rest easier if I knew you were home safe.” Al looked like he was about to fight it, but he relented in the end, then hugged his brother and left.

With Al gone, Ed looked at Roy for a minute before he went back into the hospital room.  He crawled into the bed and leaned back, staring up at the ceiling.  “I hate being stuck in here,” Ed said finally.

“I know,” Roy said with a sigh.  “But until the doctor gets the tests clear there’s nothing we can do.”

“Can’t you do something about that?  You’re a general!  Rank is supposed to have its privileges!”         

“It does.  And it’s keeping you from being able to check out early,” Roy said as he approached the bed.

“What?  You’re doing this on purpose?”

“I’m making sure that you don’t die, Ed.  Excuse me if last night left an impression.”

“The roots aren’t there anymore.  There’s nothing to worry about.”

“I was poisoning you, Ed.  Do you understand that? Those flowers were poisonous.  I’m not letting you walk out of here until I know that there aren’t any lingering effects from it!  Do I have to ask Hawkeye to stand outside your door, just in case?”

Ed sighed and there was something defeated in it that Roy hated.

“I’m sorry.  No, I’ll wait.”  Ed sat up and Roy could see something was bothering him.  Last night, Ed had been too tired to deal with any of this.  Now, it seemed, it had caught up.

As much as Roy wanted to make him sweat it out, he’d been holding back for so long, nothing could keep him from closing the distance now.  He crawled up into the bed beside a surprised Ed and pulled him back into his arms.  He pressed a kiss to his temple and Ed stiffened in his arms.

“Ed?”

“I’m so sorry,” he said quietly as he seemed to melt into Roy’s embrace.  He felt the shake of his body and he finally pieces it all together.  Ed was actually crying.  And it broke Roy’s heart to feel it.

“Ed, you don’t need to say that, okay?  Everything is going to be fine.  Havoc will take care of Al today.  He’ll understand what I meant when I said to give him a ride home.  You don’t need to worry about that.”

“I already apologized to Al,” Ed said, his voice soft but the tone firmer.  “I meant… Al said … you saw the flowers in the front room.”

Roy held him closer and let out a deep breath.  “When we heard you upstairs, when you fell, I thought I was too late,” he admitted.  His lips were against Ed’s temple and he couldn’t bring himself to move away.  “I thought I was going to find you dead upstairs.”

“You almost did.”

“Ed-”

“When I spoke with the doctor by myself, he said with the damage they could still see, your confession saved my life.”

“Why?” Roy asked.  It had been bothering him and he had to ask before Ed was looking at him and the urge to kiss him overcame his need to know.  “Did you think I wouldn’t have tried, even if I hadn’t already loved you?  I had a year and a half to learn to love you.”

“You think I don’t know you would have?” Ed pushed back against him and Roy was looking him in the eyes again.  “But I never wanted you to learn to love me.  I just wanted you to love me.  How could I ever know that … that I was the right one?  That I hadn’t stolen you from someone else that would be so much better for you?  I … you … I always thought… it was just a matter of time.”

“What?”

“Hawkeye,” he said with his eyes lowered.

Roy let out a deep sigh as he reached a hand out to cup Ed’s face.  “You’re an idiot.”

“Hey!”

“Hawkeye is one of the most loyal people I have ever known.  She is beautiful and smart and damn near perfect.  And her job is to protect me.  There was a time when it could have happened, but we both let it go.  We had a goal to reach and at that time it seemed we could stay on that path, or become something else.  There is no turning back from that choice and I’ve never regretted it.  No matter what else has happened, she’s the friend I need and my strongest supporter.  This was never what stopped that.”

“No?”

Roy shook his head.  “No.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me?  Some little… sign.  Anything!  I looked so damn hard and you never once showed anything.”

“I never wanted you to feel pressured.  I know you’ll say that you wouldn’t have but I had a lot of power over you when you were younger and I couldn’t let any of that be a factor in this.  And … maybe, I was afraid to.  I was afraid to put my heart on the line when I’d spent years denying I had much of one.”

Ed crept up a little closer and Roy could see something working its way around his head.

“So … we … this …”

“I love you, Ed.”

His eyes went wide again and Roy smiled.  “I’ll tell you a million times, until you believe it.”

“You would think the flowers going away would make it stick, but I just … I still can’t believe it.”

“Yeah, I know the feeling,” Roy agreed as he felt the exhaustion hit him again.  It had come in waves over the course of the night and following morning.  It was both physical and emotional.  He had almost lost Ed forever, and now he was Roy’s.  It was an unbelievable turn of events.

“Roy,” Ed said his name and he was closer now.  When Roy opened his eyes, Ed was just a breath away. “I love you too.”

He gasped at the words and tried to still his speeding heart but Ed brushed his nose against Roy’s and cupped his face in his hand.  “I’ll keep telling you until you believe it too.”

When he closed the distance between them the kiss was chaste, but there was a sweet promise in his lips. 

“We could both use some sleep,” Ed whispered against his lips. 

“Probably.”

“So, you’re coming to live with me for a few days?’ Ed asked as he settled in against Roy’s chest again.  Roy pulled him close, resting his head on the top of Ed’s while his hand ran through his hair and down his back.

“Until we can figure out what comes next.  I know you and Al need to stay close so whenever you’re ready the two of you could move into my house, if you wanted.  There’s more space and you wouldn’t have to keep raiding my library.”

“Wow, you must love me.  You just gave me access to your kitchen and your books at all hours of the day.”

“True, but I have ulterior motives.”

“Yeah?” Ed asked as he looked up at Roy.

“I have plans to keep you occupied in those hours of the night.”

The kiss Roy pressed to his lips was not nearly as chaste as Ed’s but there was nothing but love and adoration in it.  When Ed smiled against his lips, Roy pulled back to look at him.

“What you said earlier, to Al.”

“Yeah?” He wasn’t sure what he’d said, but it had apparently meant something because there was a look in Ed’s eyes that Roy didn’t recognize. 

“He asked why I didn’t have the surgery.”

“I heard and I wondered myself.”

“You didn’t hear my answer?” Roy shook his head and Ed continued.  “I know who I am, my good and my bad.  And I knew that no matter what happened, I would never love anyone like this again.  I couldn’t imagine living a life without love.  I couldn’t cut away the part of me that made my life worth living.  No matter how it hurt or how long it took.  _You_ are the love of _my_ life.  And I couldn’t live without that star to guide me.”

Roy pressed his forehead to Ed’s.  “No more, okay Ed?  The both of us.  No more hiding.  No more skirting around the truth.  Even if we have to play games for the world to see at times, we keep this honest between us.  I need that from you.”

“Of course.  You’re my life, Roy.  My Life.”

Roy pulled him in for another kiss before he finally felt Ed’s body relax enough that he thought they might both be able to sleep. 

“Good night, My Life,” Ed said with a grin against his chest.

  Roy kissed the top of his head.  “Good night, My Love.”

 

                         

        

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI... Chapter 3 is here, however if you aren't interested in the smut, stop here :P Chapter 3 is just schmoopy smut.


	3. Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He’d thought it would be awkward to be together, after all the time they’d kept this hidden to themselves, but when Ed’s disease had torn open the wound on both their hearts, he supposed they’d both gushed enough that it was past that stage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is really just the smutty parts :P This ends the Forever story, but I felt it needed little something to send them off. If you don't wanna read smut, just ignore this update. You don't need it :P Also, it's been a while since I smutted. Be gentle with me :P
> 
> Anyone who knows me from another fandom knows how I love my porny stories, however this is my first anime smut. I feel special knowing it was with Ed and Roy. :P

 

Roy Mustang sighed from his resting place on the couch in his front room.  The fire was softly fading in the fireplace, giving him the comfort of its soft glow.  Fire was both the bane of his existence and what gave him the strength to protect what was his.  Like most of life, it was a two edged sword and he had been cut harshly by it.  He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, smiling, because while it had cut, it had given him the only thing he had truly ever wanted for himself. 

Being the Flame Alchemist had opened doors he would never have foreseen, especially one that allowed him to meet the Fullmetal Alchemist. 

Roy looked down and buried his nose a little more in Ed’s hair, pressing his lips to the younger man’s temple.  It’d been five days since he’d rushed to Ed’s home after an emergency call from Alphonse.  Five days since his heart had nearly stopped at the sight of fire lilies surrounding the man he loved. 

They’d released Ed from the hospital after a day of careful watch and he’d gone to the apartment Ed and Al shared and stayed by his side.  Hawkeye had come by with some urgent business he had to attend to, but other than that one incident, he’d been left alone with Ed and Al.  And after two days of talking, Roy had convinced Ed to move in with him.

He knew how close the brothers were and he had no doubt that before long, Alphonse would agree to move in to one of the spare rooms as well.  He thought Alphonse was keeping the old place an extra month just to give them time alone. 

It was a sweet gesture, one that Roy would expect from the quiet, smiling young man.    Not that was all there was to the youngest Elric.  In fact, one of their conversations had been entirely frightening.  Thankfully it had been short.  It had consisted of only three sentences on Alphonse’s part and a single acknowledgement on Roy’s. 

“General--Roy, just a reminder.  I know every element that makes up the human body.  If you hurt my brother, if this comes back and kills him, I will make sure there is no part of you that I have not taken apart and put to better use.”

Roy had simple nodded and said, “I understand.”

And he’d made a logistical retreat to keep the other man from seeing the fear in his eyes at the mention of this returning.  Not that he doubt Alphonse in the slightest, but Roy never intended to let Ed doubt that he was truly loved.

Speaking of which.

“Ed, My Love, we should go to bed.  It’s getting late.”

“I’m comfortable here, old man.”

“I can tell,” he laughed softly as Ed curled in closer to his chest.  He’d thought it would be awkward to be together, after all the time they’d kept this hidden to themselves, but when Ed’s disease had torn open the wound on both their hearts, he supposed they’d both gushed enough that it was past that stage.

And straight to the pet names and cuddling, which Roy had never thought Fullmetal would allow him.

“But,” Roy continued as he cupped Ed’s cheek and raised his chin slightly, “we have a very comfortable bed upstairs waiting for us.”   A bed Ed had never slept in.  A bed where Roy planned to finally take the next step and make Ed his lover in more than just thought.  He pressed his lips softly to Ed’s and felt the younger man sigh into the kiss.

“Um…we do, don’t we, My Life.”

Roy didn’t mean to do it, but any pet name from Ed brought something out in him that he wasn’t sure what to name yet.  His hand found the back of Ed’s neck and he pulled the man closer to him, higher up against his chest so their bodies were better aligned.  He licked his way lightly across the seam of Ed’s lips and he parted so beautifully for him. 

Ed moaned as Roy’s tongue slid into his mouth and that was what he longed to hear; Ed begging for him.  He’d imagined it so many times, so many ways over the last few years, but it was nothing to the reality of just the kisses they’d shared.

He felt Ed’s hands tighten in his shirt and he pulled himself up until his knees were straddling Roy’s legs.  Their tongues tangled and it was as much a dance as their verbal sparring ever had been.  No other lover had ever been able to anticipate him the way Ed could.  No other lover knew him the way Ed did.

Roy brought his other hand up into Ed’s hair and he clenched his fingers to pull Ed’s angle down just slightly.  Ed moved with him and Roy smiled into the kiss as he dropped one hand and trailed it down Ed’s back.

“What are you smirking at, Bastard?” he asked.

“How absolutely ravishing you look like this, My Love,” Roy answered. 

“You’ve barely begun to ravish.  How about we change that?”

Before Roy could comment, Ed was already out of his lap and on his way through the door. 

“Are you coming or do I need to start this show without you?”

Roy closed his eyes because he could imagine walking into the bedroom to find Ed already naked on their bed, his fingers wrapped firmly around his cock as he slowly stroked himself.  He’d have his eyes wide open, watching the door, waiting for him.  Roy would be transfixed to the spot and Ed would just keep stroking himself, getting closer and closer to release.  His eyes would screw shut and he’d arch his back into his touch, a moan of his name escaping his lips—

Roy let out a shaky breath and got up from the couch because while his imagination was more than active enough to give him a picture of what might await him, he had every intention of stripping Ed down to nothing himself. 

He moved quickly down the hall and up the stairs to the master bedroom.  Ed had just curled his fingers under the edge of his shirt to take it off when Roy stepped up behind him, hands on Ed’s wrists.  “Please, allow me,” he offered.

Ed looked over his shoulder at Roy and there was a smug smile there but he dropped his hands as he leaned back into Roy’s chest and raised his lips.  Roy cupped his cheek and kissed him softly.  He wanted Ed to know just how cherished he was, in word or deed, and he took his time, trailed his lips over Ed’s, then followed along to the soft skin of his neck.  Ed tilted his head to give Roy better access and Roy released Ed’s other hand to skim his own across the edge of Ed’s sweatpants, then gently press him closer against Roy’s chest.

“Roy, if you don’t stop teasing me I’m going to kick your ass,” he whispered.

Roy smiled against his shoulder as he trailed his lips towards the metal of his automail.  “Seems counterintuitive, Fullmetal,” he teased, “If you kick my ass, I don’t think I’ll be in very good shape to have yours.”  He ended his words with the press of his hips and Ed moaned as he felt Roy’s hard cock against his ass. 

“Roy,” his voice was breathless and he’d dreamed of this moment too many times to count.  His tongue edged along the metal and he felt Ed’s intake of breath.  Then he lowered his hand from Ed’s stomach to stroke along his hard length. 

“Fuck,” the words were a moan, more earthy and less breathy. 

“That’s the idea,” he teased again.  He stroked him a few times, licking and kissing across his skin from automail to neck until he felt Ed’s fingers clench in his pant leg.  He ran his hands across Ed’s body to the edge of his shirt and pulled it up.  Ed raised his arms and allowed the shirt to slide from his body before he turned to face Roy.

He’d seen Ed’s eyes in almost every variation, from anger to despair, to joy and adoration, and even to love, however he’d never seen Ed’s eyes sex glazed and lust-heavy.  He cradled the back of Ed’s head with his hand and brought their lips together as he stepped in to close the gap between their bodies.

He felt Ed’s arms around his waist but then his mismatched hands slid under Roy’s shirt and up his back.  He shivered at the feel of hot flesh and cool metal against his bare skin.

“Ed,” he trailed his lips across Ed’s cheek and to his neck as he backed them towards the bed.  He slowly leaned the younger man back over the bed and slid his knees between Ed’s as he hovered over him.  As much as he wanted to touch and feel, he needed to see this.

He took a moment to look at Ed, his golden skin against the pale cream of Roy’s sheets.  His hair spun out around him like a halo of light.  HIs lips were kiss swollen and his cheeks were flushed with color that spread down to his collar. 

“You have no idea how many times I’ve thought of this, Ed,” he confessed.

Ed reached up and pulled him closer with a warm hand to the back of his neck.  “We’ll call it even then,” he said, his voice darker than Roy had ever heard it.  He pulled their lips together in a hungry kiss and Roy was hopeless against the tide of want that enveloped him. 

He didn’t know why he’d ever thought a virginal Fullmetal would ever be slow or tame or even timid about sex.  Just because Ed had never had sex didn’t mean he didn’t know what he wanted and he’d never been shy about telling Roy the things that mattered. 

Minus the one notable exception.

Ed’s automail hands gripped his hip hard and Roy knew there would be bruises but he moaned into the feel of it.  He wanted Ed to mark him, to show the world that they belonged together like this.  Not just General and subordinate, not just Flame and Fullmetal, the two most highly sought after Alchemists in Amestris, but Roy and Ed.  Lovers.

He felt Ed’s hips thrust beneath him and he pulled back to look in Ed’s eyes as their bodies lined up just perfectly.  Each drive of Ed’s body was maddening and he wanted nothing more than to give in and claim Ed, but he had to do this right. 

No matter how fast the brat was trying to take it.

He pulled back enough to begin kissing his way down Ed’s neck and across his shoulder.  He traced the edge of his automail with his tongue and watched as Ed gasped when he flicked his tongue across his nipple.  He kissed his way to the other and gave it the same treatment and felt the way Ed arched under him, how his fingers pulled him in closer and clenched in his hair with each pass of his tongue.

“Damn it, Roy!  Stop teasing!”

“My love, I’m only just beginning.”

“You’ve been teasing for four days!”

Roy moved up Ed’s body to press a quick kiss to Ed’s lips and pulled away just as fast to keep Ed from keeping him there.  “It’s what you do with the follow up that matters, Ed.”

With that, he hovered over Ed and leaned down to kiss his way down Ed’s chest.  Ed was always beautiful but in his passion he was intoxicating and Roy wanted to drown in him.   He took his time and learned how to make Ed moan, how to cause his body to arch up, and his fingers to clench in Roy’s hair, or leave bruises on his skin.

 

He trailed closer to the waist of Ed’s pants and felt the younger man tremble with his touch.  He nuzzled against his stomach and let his lips trace across Ed’s waistband.  When he looked up at Ed, gilded eyes watched him with thinly veiled impatience.     

It was all the permission Roy needed to slowly pull his pants and underwear down his legs, to throw them onto the floor beside the bed.  He sat back on his heels and took a deep breath as he looked at the lascivious picture Ed made.

“You’re overdressed,” Ed said as he sat up.  Roy didn’t stop Ed as he made quick work of his shirt.  It was tossed aside with Ed’s pants and then Ed’s hands were on his chest and his eyes were trailing over Roy’s scars.

He wasn’t sensitive about them.  They weren’t what he would prefer his body to be but each scar told a story, spoke of survival.  They were better than the alternative.  Ed’s hand stopped at the biggest scar, on his right side.  It was a mess of burned flesh, burned purposely at his own hand nonetheless, but the option had been fire or bleed to death and Roy hadn’t even considered another way.  When Ed sat up towards him, his eyes downcast, Roy saw the large scar in the middle of Ed’s chest as well.

He hadn’t known the full story for years after.  Not how it had really happened, and not how Ed had managed to save himself.  Roy closed his eyes and brushing his fingers over Ed’s scar.

“Too many times, I’ve almost lost you, Ed,” he whispered.

He could see the same remembrance in Ed’s eyes as well.  Ed leaned up towards him and he felt arms wrapped around him, holding him close.  He held Ed tight against him, just for a moment, feeling Ed’s chest rise against his own; strong, powerful lungs that were no longer obstructed. 

When the arms fell from his sides, he felt Ed’s fingers edging around the waist of his sweatpants.  Roy sighed into Ed’s mouth and he could feel the other man’s smirk.  “Done teasing yet?”

“You know I’ll give you everything you want,” he answered as Ed began to push the rest of his clothing off.  When he was done he pulled Roy back on top of him. 

“Then give it to me now,” Ed demanded.

Roy leaned down and bit firmly at the juncture where shoulder and neck met and Ed arched up off the bed as his hands clenched against the bedsheets.  Roy chuckled because he’d never expected Ed to react like that to a bite, but he planned to put the information to good use. 

He nipped his way down Ed’s torso, paying special attention to his scars, and then followed the small trail of golden hair down between his legs.  He bit lightly at the inside of Ed’s thigh and he got the same strong reaction he’d been looking for. 

“Roy, damn it,” Ed groaned.

He took pity on his lover, and on himself if he were being honest, because while he could see that teasing Ed was going to be one of his favorite pastimes in the future, tonight he needed to be inside him.

He reached out with a hand and began to stroke Ed’s cock as he continued to lick and suck and bite around his lover’s hips and thighs. 

Damn it, Roy,” Ed moaned, “please--”

It was more than he could take and he reached over and found the small bottle he kept in his bedside drawer.  He bit lightly at Ed’s stomach and listened to the breathless laugh Ed gave off that ended in more of a whimper than anything. 

He slicked his fingers up and began to circle Ed’s hole.  

“You don’t have to be gentle, just do it,” Ed bit off. 

Instead of answering, Roy took the tip of Ed’s cock into his mouth at the same time he gently pressed his finger in against the circle of muscles.  Ed jerked his hips off the bed and Roy moved with him, anticipating the thrust.  He pressed his hips down with his one free hand and began to slowly fuck his finger into Ed. 

Ed’s reactions to the world had always fascinated Roy and this was no exception.  There were no words but a cacophony of sounds; moans and whimpers and almost pleas that never quite found articulation.  His head thrashed from one side to the other until he looked down at Roy.  When their eyes met, Ed didn’t look away.  It was intoxicating and Roy took him further into his mouth as he pressed into Ed with a second finger. 

The younger man dropped his head back against the pillow and this time he could hear his words perfectly.  “Please, Roy, more,” he begged.  “Come on, fuck me.”

Roy began to loosen Ed up, his fingers scissoring in and out as he prepped his lover.  He sucked harder on his cock and Ed let out a string of curses in two languages that Roy recognized.  It was more than he had ever dreamt of, having Ed at his mercy like this.  He wanted to make him come like this, just his fingers and his mouth but that would have to wait for another night. 

Or the morning perhaps.

Roy sucked Ed all the way down a few more times before he released his cock.  He crawled up his body but didn’t stop his fingers.  He added a third as he Ed claimed his mouth in a desperate kiss.  Ed’s hands moved down his chest until warm fingers circled his cock and began to stroke in time with Roy’s fingers.

“Keep that up, Ed, and this is going to be over sooner than you’d like,” he teased as he rested his forehead against Ed’s. 

“So fuck me already,” he demanded. 

Roy kissed him hard for the words and without warning, removed his fingers from Ed’s body.  His hips stuttered forward a few more times, looking for the fullness he’d had moments ago, but Roy shushed him without thought as he found the bottle again.  Ed took it from him and covered his fingers in slick before he continued to stroke Roy’s cock.  He sat up and let his head fall back for a moment, feeling Ed’s fingers work him. 

He could let go like this.  He could come all over Ed’s hands, press him back onto the bed and cover his stomach and chest, then spend lazy moments kissing him and rubbing it into his skin. 

He gripped Ed’s hand and stopped him.  When he looked at Ed there was a smirk on his face as he fell back onto the bed, as open as Roy had ever seen him. 

He leaned forward for another kiss and pressed into Ed’s body.  He swallowed Ed’s moans and felt himself shaking from the strain of moving slow.  Ed’s legs wrapped around his waist and pulled Roy in harder.  He let Ed set the pace and he was quickly enclosed in Ed’s body.  He had barely rested his body against Ed’s when the other man’s hips tried to move under him.  Roy pressed down with his hips and Ed moaned.

He pressed his forehead to Ed’s and took a shuddered breath.  “Ed,” he whispered the name softly against his ear.

Ed’s hands scraped across his back and his flesh hand settled in Roy’s hair.  “My Life,” Ed whispered back.

He pulled out of Ed’s body until only the head of his cock remained and he slowly slid back in.  The noises Ed made were exquisite and Roy set a slow, steady pace that left Ed grasping and moaning his name. 

“Please, Roy,” he begged again, “faster.”

It was all he had been waiting for and he ran his fingers over Ed’s left thigh and down to the automail knee and pulled it up to his shoulder before he pressed in again.  He changed the angle and then Ed nearly howled as he hit the perfect spot.  He didn’t give Ed time to recover but began to piston his hips in and out of Ed’s body, hitting that spot time and again.  Ed’s body shifted with each thrust, matching his pace and rhythm perfectly.

“Roy, please, oh fuck, oh fuck,” Ed called as his body clamped down around Roy’s cock, come spilling between them.  Roy fucked him hard through it, felt his own rising orgasm and buried himself in Ed.  His hands gripped Ed’s hips tight and he pressed in as tight as he could as he came inside him.

He was panting against Ed’s ear when he felt Ed’s leg slid off his shoulder.  He knew he should move, but he didn’t want to be anywhere else.  Eventually Ed would push him away, his ass sore from the abuse Roy had given it tonight.  God, he hoped Ed let him kiss it better because the idea of Ed spread out under him left Roy’s cock twitching in misery that it couldn’t perform again just yet.

Ed let out a weak laugh as he turned his head.  He pulled Roy up with both hands in his hair and kissed him softly.

It was enough to break Roy from the moment and he pulled his hips back enough to slide out of his lover. 

“We should get cleaned up,” Roy said softly.

“Later,” Ed said as he pulled Roy into his arms.  Roy rested his head on the pillow next to Ed’s but his hands wouldn’t stay still.  He ran them down Ed’s chest and hips until he found the cooling mess between them.  He let his fingers drag through it and began to rub circles in Ed’s skin.

“You’re making a mess,” Ed said with a light huff of laughter that Roy had come to learn meant he was embarrassingly turned on by something.

“I am,” Roy agreed.  “And you’re going to let me.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh hu,” he said as he kissed just underneath Ed’s chin.  The younger man tilted his head to the side to give him access and Roy smiled against his skin.  “Maybe next time it will be my come all over your skin,” he said softly.  “I’ll hold you down and come all over you, Ed,” he promised.  “And when I’m done, I’m going to rub it all in, all over your chest and stomach, your cock and balls.  I’ll cover your ass in my come, and once it’s all rubbed in, you’ll get dressed and go about your day with no one the wiser that you are covered in me.  No one in Central Command would know how I shoved you out the door, covered in my come.  No one would know how wide open I left you, so I could fuck you over my desk.”

“Fucking hell, General,” Ed moaned.

He bit lightly at Ed’s throat and he could feel Ed’s cock twitching against his body.  He ran his finger lightly over it and Ed nearly sobbed even as his hips rose to get more friction.

“General, is it?  Do you like that, Ed?  The thought of coming into the office for me to fuck?  Maybe I’ll start making you wear the uniform, just so I can watch you unbuckle the belt, drop those uniform pants around your ankles, and fuck you from behind on my couch.”

His cock was fully hard and Roy gripped him tighter as he began to increase his speed.  “Maybe I’ll come inside you, while you’re spread out over my desk, or maybe I won’t.  Maybe,” he said as he felt Ed’s body straining again, “Maybe I’ll come all over you again, and make you finish working, covered” he bit at Ed’s earlobe, “in”, he bit his neck, “my come.”  He bit his neck hard and Ed came over his hand, shivering and screaming Roy’s name. 

Roy stroked him through it until Ed was quivering to his touch and then leaned up and pressed a gentle kiss to his lips.

“Fuck,” Ed whispered against his mouth. 

Roy smiled.  “I didn’t realize you had an office kink,” he teased.

“Fuck the office.  Roy, fuck, you’re voice…”

He kissed Ed softly and felt Ed relax against him.  As much as he hated to get up though, they still needed to clean up.  As much as he would love to keep Ed come-covered and sex-drugged, his body would be sore if he didn’t take care and Alphonse was sure to visit in the morning.

He pulled away from Ed and pushed his legs over the edge of the bed before Ed’s brain caught up to his motions.

As fast as Ed’s brain usually worked, he was taking that as a complement.

“Roy, where are you going?”

His voice was petulant, but the darker sex tones still settled there and he looked at Ed and smiled.  “I’m going to run the bath.”

Ed dropped his head to the pillow and didn’t comment.  The bath was filled quickly enough and they settled in, with Ed’s head resting on Roy’s shoulder as he leaned back in the steam-filled tub. 

“Can’t believe you kept me from that for four whole days,” Ed pouted.

Roy kissed his temple.  “You were recovering, if you don’t remember.  I was worried you’d stop breathing if I did that any sooner.”

“God, I hate you.”

Ed settled closer in his arms and Roy couldn’t help but sigh at the way Ed had him wrapped so god-damned hard around his finger.  Still, he had Ed alive and in his arms, sated and happy, and safe.  This would be a problem at work, trying to deal with this new dynamic, but they’d faced harder things down and come out on top.  He had no worries there.

He closed his eyes and thought maybe Ed had fallen asleep where he was, but a soft breath blew across his skin.

“Love you, My Life.”

There was no equivalent exchange for this, for the love he felt here.  For the love he was able to give here.  He would give and take and demand and beg and do anything to keep this.  He would love Edward within an inch of his life and he would never doubt that he was where he was supposed to be; with Roy, in his lover’s arms. 

He pressed a kiss to Ed’s temple.    “Forever, My Love.”

 


End file.
